monobeartheater:

modorrelin:

there are too many vines of cishet boys in wigs making fun of girls. we need more vines making fun of cishet boys. girls wearing snapbacks and basketball shorts like ”bro hold my AXE i’m gonna draw a penis on this board” ”yeah draw a penis haha *frightened look at camera* i’m not gay tho”

someone please make that vine

(via hiimemilyimdead)

anaaesthetic:

pandabomb:

florida is a godless place. I went there once, got in the ocean, and immediately had to evacuate because a bull shark was swimming right towards me. there was an alligator on the side of the freeway. meth addicts and men on tractors roam free. florida is america’s australia

I grew up in Florida. Please don’t insult Australia like that.

(via hiimemilyimdead)

officialunitedstates:

tinyvampire:

officialunitedstates:

I like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu but refusing to eat it.  It’s okay, though, because it’s a metaphor.  The metaphor is I’m incredibly wasteful and extremely wealthy.

OMFG HE’S DYING OF CANCER LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS WITH HIS DAMN CIGARETTES

what are you talking about.  im trying to brag about how ridiculously rich i am

glitterandmetal-yt-da:

batreaux:

You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

are you ok?

(via grace--adele)

professorelupin:

fuckyeahprettybooks:

lovejoyjohnlock:

I’m twelve years old again.

Someone help me stop laughing, it hurts.

image

(via grace--adele)

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

(via marchingduck)

officialunitedstates:

officialunitedstates:

introverts:  plant a flower, water it every day, pull weeds for charity

extroverts: destroy gardens, cut down trees for no reason, eat sawdust

coolscar:

cyandye:

coolscar:

*mr krabs voice* secret formuler 

*plankton voice* hand it over krabs

*mr krabs voice* eat a dick plankton 

(via pancake-surprise)

accioguitardis:

cyberunfamous:

trillow:

how much do islands cost i want one

Less than a college education

image

what the fuck

(via pancake-surprise)

unclefather:

gf: Come over

me: i can’t i’m skiing

gf: I have dog treats

me: image

(via pancake-surprise)

breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe
breadmaakesyoufat:

this scene is the reason i breathe

spamanos:

zeus took fuck, marry, kill way too seriously

(via lazy-peaches)